Preferably in co-op.ĭead Space 4? Nah ♥♥♥♥ it, let's remake the first game 10 years later since we clearly tanked this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ franchise. Suit upgrades with the iconic animation? Nah, buy if off a screen and piss off. Save spots? Nah, we'll autosave for you so you can focus on shooting ♥♥♥♥ up more.
Upgrading your weapons with nodes? ♥♥♥♥ that, use our new bench that feels clunky and is the most boring ♥♥♥♥ to navigate. Story? The ♥♥♥♥ is that? Read some logs, shut the ♥♥♥♥ and go back to shooting you EA slave. So what there's more enemies in the first two hours than both DS1 and 2 combined? You some of kind of ♥♥♥♥♥ bro? You are? Then play co-op. You don't have weapon? We got you bro, here's some crafted ♥♥♥♥ where you glued a machine gun on a plasma cutter.
Suspense? Horror? Yeah, we have enemies you've seen before a million times. Before you even get to experience the pile of ♥♥♥♥ called Dead Space 3, you'll have a great time installing that bloatware of an EA app, sit through the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up animations that are slow as ♥♥♥♥ (and hardlocked at 30fps, cause ♥♥♥♥ having a Vsync ingame that uses your monitor's refresh rate) and then finally your journey into mediocrity can start.
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